Small things matter the most...

Infinite tiny drops of water make a huge ocean....what we appreciate eventually is the vastness of the ocean and are awestruck by its ability to extend till the horizon. The ocean derives this strength and ability from those tiny droplets...who are not given their due importance for being the creators of the ocean. This pretty much applies to our lives as well. We try to focus on only the big things, the end result, and emphasize on rational thinking rather than the journey which leads to the final goal. We need to value those small steps that make up the journey towards your destination.

Love is such a deep emotion with so many layers. These layers have a meaning only if they are defined by small things like a hug every morning before you leave for work or before retiring to bed after a long tiring day, following a ritual to have at least one meal with your loved ones how much ever busy you are, choosing the prettiest gift wrapping paper for that special someone, adding that dash of cream on the cake that you bake for your sweetheart, sipping the coffee to make sure its perfect before you serve it to your hubby, strengthening your bond by warm, loving words, caring gestures or.... just simply being there for your dear ones....and most importantly finding a lot of happiness in doing all of these small things.

I firmly believe in the expression - Home is where the Heart is. It is the place which greets you with its open inviting arms after a long day. It is the place where you find solace and it is the place that helps you in leaving behind all your worries once you step into it. A house is a home when you decorate it with small things. A beautiful painting on an empty wall, a charming vase in a solitary corner, potpourri and a pleasant wicker basket in the bathroom, a cute napkin holder on your dining table, a cozy bed sheet spread out on your bed that makes you look forward to relaxing...a home is not a home without these small things..it is not a home if you do not feel an inner happiness in serenading it with elements that blend it into its beauty, enhancing its appeal.

I just gave a few examples of the ways in which you can make small things a part of your life and how paying attention to detail can bring positivity in your life. In reality, every aspect of your life can be measured in terms of small things and you need to figure out a way to find happiness in those small things. If you haven't had the chance to experience the glory that small things can bring to your life, you are not living your life to the fullest. You are missing out a lot and depriving yourself from the opportunities that life gifts you for being happy.

The art of taking your life not too seriously....

Try to think of the contexts in which the two words - "serious" and "chill" are used, and make a comparison. It won't take too long for you to realize that "serious" makes the smile on your face disappear and "chill" makes you feel relaxed and at peace. Now both the words have their own unique objectives and importance in your thoughts, written or verbal correspondences, but these words take a new meaning when they are prefixed with "too". We all know that it is important to be serious about things that matter to you and it is equally important to take it easy and be chill about certain things in life, so you do not land up feeling stressed. But sometimes we underestimate the effect of a simple addition of "too" to these two words. I am sure most of you will agree that it is not good to be too serious or too chill. But how many of you are actually successful in implementing this thought process? Is it easy to achieve a fine balance between the two? People who suffer from the latter of the two, are too chill to realize the importance of being serious, and people who suffer from the former, are too serious to be chill, even regarding the most mundane things in life. I suffer from the former....

When I was a little girl, I used to feel it is my personal responsibility to clean up the mess created by others. I remember putting my heart and soul in consistently getting good grades, and being in good books of all the teachers. I used to carry an unnecessary burden on my shoulders of excelling in whatever I do. Most of the times the things that I wanted to excel in, were not defined by me. I was so focused on performing well in something that others believed in, that somewhere down the road I lost track in understanding my passions and beliefs. Smallest of things used to find a way to directly reach my heart. Anything and everything that was important to my family, friends, and teachers was infinitely more important to me. It was all about performing, excelling, hard work, perfection, pleasing others and loosing out on a lot of fun. There was no room for exploring what I really wanted to do. In a nutshell, I used to take things too seriously....and I must confess that to an extent I still have that little girl inside me who thinks and over analyzes every situation to perfection. It is tougher to let go of things and move on when you take your life too seriously...it is like an extra baggage that comes with it. You tend to get hurt easily and you also tend to be over sensitive regarding the people whom you love. And this affects not only you, but also to an extent the ones whom you love. I envy those who have an attitude of being chill when it comes to sensitive matters…a more popular and intriguing term for this in Hindi is being 'bindaas'.

I discovered that I have a natural flair for so many things, much later in my life. Unfortunately this discovery was not a self-initiated or a voluntary step; it was only when life put me in a situation in which I was forced to discover other facets of my abilities. I took it as a sign to break away from my zone of constantly competing with life in an attempt to stay ahead of everything, and decided to walk hand in hand with my life to unleash the other gifts that God has given me. I decided to take a chill pill and be bindaas. I believe that for a peaceful and happy life, it is definitely important to master that balance between being too serious and being too chill. At times when I look back at my life, I wonder why I was so hard on myself and really wish that I would not have taken my life too seriously...because life truly is all about having a lot of fun!

"New Beginnings"

"New Beginnings"...there is a reason why this phrase is so cogent. The perceptions about this phrase do not deviate from what it implies. This is one phrase which means pretty much the same to everybody....a fresh start...a beginning which gives hope to overcome the past failures and look ahead with a brand-new outlook.

This phrase is closest to my heart ever since I set foot in a new country. I have arrived at a time when it has been hit by the worst wave of economic depression. Surprisingly, in spite of the current economic and employment situation, I LOVE it here! It's a Land of Opportunities in the truest sense. My beautiful and fast developing home country India is land of opportunities too. But the reason I feel that America is THE land of opportunities is because, people belonging to different ethnicity, religion, countries, seek opportunities from a common huge pool of opportunities. Their minds are open, flexible, free and more accepting towards living a life which reflects a lot of occupational diversity. On the contrary in India, people restrict themselves to a subset of opportunities from the deep and wide pool, depending on the strata of the society which they belong to. Each stratum sticks to their own exclusive subset of the pool. An outsider belonging to a different stratum is usually not welcome and not encouraged to cross over and dive into a new pool. If an attempt is made to cross over, he/she faces resistance.

I am an Engineer, a dream profession of everybody in India. I worked as a Software Engineer in a huge corporation for several years in India. After arriving in America, due to the ongoing recession, I could not find a job that would justify my qualifications. But America rubbed off on me.....my mind was happy to accept a refreshing change, explore my hidden creativity, passion and talent, which were suppressed due to my inability to look beyond my profession back in India. I crossed the border that marked my pool which had boundaries created by my old mindset and entered in a brand-new pool. The experience of swimming in a new pool, being on the other side; has been one of the most intriguing, satisfying and educating experiences of my life...it has been my "New Beginning". It has taught me to think beyond my imagination. It has taught me that there is always an abundant scope to do more than you can think or imagine. '

As I embark on this exciting journey of my life, and embrace my new avatar, I want to make sure that my life continues to be kaleidoscopic with many such New Beginnings. I can't wait to explore, I can't wait to broaden my vision, and my mind looks forward to many more New Beginnings...

The Communication that prevents illnesses...

One of the biggest and most severe problems faced by humankind today is lack of communication. After reading this, one might think...what about the other more severe problems in this world like, the huge amount of poverty, the countless sorrows faced by millions, the natural calamities, current Wall Street issue... Yes, I feel the pain and I pray to God everyday to make this world a better place, spread happiness and let everyone be at peace. Sometimes I also pray to God to help people realize the value of "Communication". I don't think I will meet anybody who shares my prayer on communication. And the reason for that is because people do not value the importance of communication. Now when I say communication, I do not mean how well a person talks or how good the vocabulary or diction, grammar and pronunciation is ...definitely not the "communication skills" that is forever in demand on the profiles published on job boards.

Communication to me is the desire one feels to be heard, to find a way to convey the right meaning, to give voice to your true feelings. When someone tries to communicate in the manner that I am talking about, it does not matter whether that person is a smooth talker and a stickler of being politically, grammatically and verbally correct. What matters is whether the thought process, the feelings and the honest intentions are allowed to guide the way one communicates. A person who understands the value of communication will communicate when the time is right and also make sure that the words are right. If at loss of finding the right words, take efforts to convey the exact meaning, so the listener gets it without any prejudice. A lot of times, communication is taken for granted and assumptions are given undue importance. It should be the other way round. Tempting and less time consuming as it may be, assumptions can be dangerous. In my opinion, crystal clear communication should be habitual rather than a rare display of ones personality. It truly has the power to resolve all complications and conflicts of life.

It is very important to understand that clear communication needs to be "groomed". It has to be supported by being a good listener, being patient and respecting what others have to say when they are communicating. Knowing when to keep quiet and knowing when to end the conversation. It is also very important to believe in what you are saying. If you don't believe in what you say, you are wasting the most precious and expensive resource - "time", your time as well as time of others involved in the communication. A dark side of communication is when some people misuse it to misguide other people, which is an illness in itself. Let's not focus on the dark side of communication. The communication that I am talking about prevents illnesses. Illnesses like misunderstanding, not trying to understand how it feels to be in the other person's shoes, not opening your mind to their point of view...A lot of people might know how to communicate, but their communication is often one dimensional, self focused and lacks the ability to diagnose the symptoms of these illnesses. We should aim to master the art of communication that prevents illnesses. This can be done in stages, the first stage being, mastering the art of communication that cures illnesses which gradually will lead to mastering the art of communication that prevents illnesses.

Finding a true connection....

Life is all about building relations. Building relations might be easy...but building relations on a deeper level is definitely not. Some connections are formed on the basis of strong reasons and some get formed out of thin air, without any logic or reasoning. In my opinion, a true connection is the one which stirs emotions within you and allow your feelings to find a way to flow naturally.

Emotions play a very important role in the way you perform in your life. I do not think you can give your 100% to anybody or anything if you do not feel responsible, committed, attached, sincere and passionate. These emotions define a true connection. What's life if you are not devoted to people whom you love or not involved in activities which bring out the best in you? The most amazing part about a true connection is that you do not feel forced to be with somebody or pulled into something which you don't want to do.

Everybody's life is dynamic.....the only thing constant in life is change (by Heraclitus). Since your aims and priorities evolve along with your life, there is a possibility that some of your previous true connections might fade and you might start desiring new true connections....which is natural...but the important thing to realize is, to realize the importance of having at least one true connection in your life. It could be with anybody or anything....your life partner, your family, your friends, your profession, your books, a sport, a hobby....

The challenging part of finding true connections is that it is certainly not easy to find them. You cannot wake up one morning and decide that today is my deadline of finding a true connection. You need to do a lot of soul searching, look within yourself and have conversations with yourself to understand what will make you feel that positive sense of achievement, make you go that extra mile to make it perfect, who or what inspires you to give your 100%. It is completely worth it!! And of course remember not to be too hard on yourself if you can't think of anything, a lot of times true connections find a way to enter your life...just like that!

Are our minds ready to accept the real "Give and Take Philosophy"?

Ever since we were kids, we have been advised to follow what has been believed to be written in "The Life's Little Book of Rules". As we grow older, we are encouraged to carry the concise version of the book in our mind wherever we go. I personally love to connect with the concise version every now and then. The thoughts and sayings of life which have been in existence over many years always have an undercurrent of how complicated our life actually is. They have an intriguing ability to convey the life's lessons in a manner which is so to the point, and has a tremendous potential of creating a positive impact on our minds. The sayings of life, which often are termed as 'cliche', never cease to amaze me. Every time when I read or remind myself of one of these cliched sayings, - "Happiness is a choice", "Everything happens for a reason", " All for the best", "What goes around, comes around". "Tough times don't last, but tough people do", they help me to build an inner strength to win against the current situation that I am facing. Some sayings actually remain with you forever like your best friends. Unfortunately, not everybody connects with these sayings the way I do. I have the highest regard for people who actually wrote these sayings and shared their thoughts with the whole world. I would like to thank them and tell them that the readers and followers of their thoughts today feel privileged and blessed. I am sure there are many like me who have were able to think clearly and put a lot of things into perspective because of them. Which brings me to think why do people underestimate the power of these quotes, sayings and thoughts on life? I have experienced rolling of eyes, blank stare, acknowledgment which is not heartfelt, when I have suggested my loved ones to map these life's lessons to their situations....and then I wonder why don't they feel the effect of satisfaction and hope the way I do. When I map a life's saying to my situation, I allow my mind to get unclogged and welcome the enlightenment and clarity which these sayings bring to me.

The mind of many is ruled by the "Give and Take Philosophy". Most expect a tangible return for their giving...which is not wrong. But this world will definitely be a happier place when people give, and take in return something which may not be too obvious, tangible, instant or short lived....but try to derive something which goes beyond the expected returns. If you try to push your mind to think exponentially, you can generate returns which are long lived, intangible, which stay with you, which help to develop and build a part of you, which going ahead can help you in a small way or a big way, which could be a small minuscule part of the foundation that you wish to build for your future or a step towards your next big leap in life! There is so much to derive from small things in life! ...and there is so much to derive from these very short and concise sayings of life...

My most recent encounter and experience of embracing life's lessons was when I arrived in US. I was living a content life in my home country, India, personally as well as professionally. After arriving here, it was initially difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that it is not easy to get your professional life back on track when you fly across the globe to be in another continent. I connected with my concise version of life's sayings and opened my mind to break away from the monotony in my thought process. I realized there is so much that you can do when your mind is flexible. A flexible mindset always absorbs more returns than a mindset ruled by set of boundaries and expectations. I worked at a restaurant, this was my chance to meet people who did not belong to my race and my ethnicity. This was my chance to communicate with people who do not speak my language...and boy there was so much to learn, so much to absorb, so many returns... One should not allow the "Give and Take Philosophy" to narrow their minds. The life's simple but powerful sayings have taught me to give a different meaning to the "Give and Take Philosophy". It has taught me that there is a lot to learn even from a single line or a statement and four words do have the power of conveying an everlasting message.